I’ve sold my house. It feels good. And a little scary. I haven’t yet found a house for us to move to, but I’m confident I will.
Mostly at this stage I’m going with the feels. It’s kind of how I operate and I know it feels right. It feels like more than a house move too. Possibly a metaphor for other things.
I bought this house four years ago, in the midst of a marital breakdown and going it alone. It wasn’t easy downsizing or saying goodbye to a home I dreamed about for most of my adult life. But I felt a connection with this one the minute I walked through the door. I knew it would be a place where my children and I could regroup and just be. Getting a mortgage wasn’t easy either and it was a scary few months, on my own financially, working part time and reliant on working tax credits I was lucky to find it and lucky to make it work. I am forever grateful to the couple who sold it to me.
It’s been quite a journey these last four years. There has been joy and sadness and good times and tricky times. There have been meltdowns and awakenings and laughter and tears. If walls could talk they say. It makes me chuckle.
It’s funny to think of the person I was when I bought this house and the person I am now as I leave. I feel very different. I am different. Calmer. Happier. Braver. More settled. More me than I ever was.
What have I learned in this time? That family is what you make it, that friends are golden, that kids are amazing and resourceful and adaptable, that home is a feeling as much as a place and that getting to know who the heck you are is a precious, life giving thing.